40 Lessons I learned in 40 years (part 1)
I turned 40 about a month ago.
And like most milestone moments, it made me stop and reflect a little bit. Not just on music—but on life, relationships, and the kind of person I’m becoming.
These aren’t complicated ideas. But they’re the kind of lessons that only really stick after you’ve lived through some things.
Here are 10 lessons that have shaped me the most.
1. How I Treat People Says More About Me Than Them
It’s easy to justify how we respond to people based on how they act.
But the truth is, how I treat people is a reflection of me—not them.
I can’t control what others do. I can only control what I do… and what I know is right.
2. Time Is Sacred—Treat It That Way
If someone chooses to spend time with you, that’s not casual—that’s meaningful.
Time is probably the most valuable resource we have. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
So whether it’s students, family, or friends—be present. Treat that time like it matters… because it does.
3. I’m Not a Victim of My Circumstances
Life doesn’t always go how you planned.
But you still get to choose your response.
I can’t always control what happens to me—but I can decide what I do with it. That mindset changes everything.
4. Life Has Seasons—And None of Them Last Forever
There’s a season to most things in life.
Some are great. Some are really hard.
But understanding that nothing lasts forever—good or bad—helps you stay steady through all of it.
5. Time Speeds Up—So Be Intentional
This one surprised me.
The older I get, the faster life feels. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months.
If you’re not intentional, time just disappears.
So now, I’m learning to be more deliberate with how I spend it—personally, musically, and professionally.
6. Your 20s Shape Your 30s
What you avoid in your 20s usually shows up in your 30s.
Habits. Mindsets. Discipline. All of it compounds.
The patterns you build early on don’t just disappear—they carry forward. The good news is you can always start changing them.
7. Be More Honest—and More Kind
We need more honesty. And we need more kindness.
And contrary to what some people think, those two things don’t compete.
Most situations actually improve when you bring both.
Say what needs to be said—but say it in a way that builds, not tears down.
8. Be the Friend You Want to Have
Everyone wants meaningful relationships.
But not everyone takes initiative.
If you want great friends, be a great friend. Reach out. Check in. Show people you care—consistently, not occasionally.
9. You’ll Never Regret Doing What’s Right
The right choice is usually the harder one.
But I’ve found this to be true over and over—you never regret it.
It might cost you something in the moment, but it gives you peace long-term.
10. Relationships Are Cyclical
Most relationships go through patterns.
They grow, change, stretch, and sometimes pull back.
That’s normal.
The important thing is recognizing those cycles—and deciding, together, what kind of relationship you want moving forward.
Final Thought
Turning 40 didn’t magically make me wiser—but it did make me more aware.
Aware of how I spend my time.
How I treat people.
And what actually matters.
Whether you’re a musician, a student, or just trying to grow—these principles apply across the board.
Be intentional.
Do what’s right.
Treat people well.
That alone will take you further than you think.